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Off the Couch by Greg Hall Landmark columnist

Pre-game, in-game and post-game sound bites from MU vs. KU

Posted 11-25-07

A quick thank you to everyone who has taken the time to log on to The Landmark’s website this past week and read my OTC columns.

I have split this OTC on the MU/KU game into three sections: pregame, game and postgame. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed knocking it out on my keyboard. I have really enjoyed hearing from so many of you and wish all of you a great holiday season!
--Greghall24@yahoo.com

PREGAME BITES

•“From the looks and sounds of this stadium, they may want to make this a tradition.”
Jim Flink, local newscaster who was on the sidelines prior to the game, Channel 9
GH: If this is to become as annual event at Arrowhead, it got off to a spectacular bang of a start. I was wrong about the crowd being a raucous mob set on destruction. It appears the two sets of warring fans mixed as well as their rum and Cokes.

•“I think college football games ought to be played on college campuses. …I think it’s more important to make what happens here (in Lawrence) bigger instead of in Kansas City.”
Mark Swanson, described as a Lawrence businessman, Kansas City Star
GH: All the stars aligned for this game to be as important as it was and be housed at Arrowhead this year. Next year we’ll get two legit Heisman candidates in Chase Daniel and Todd Reesing. But I have no problem letting this one go back on campus starting in 2009.

•“An enormous traffic jam outside the stadium.”
Brent Musburger, stating that he, the teams and Carl Peterson were late getting to Arrowhead because of the massive traffic jam outside the stadium, ABC
GH: These college games at Arrowhead have all been a nightmare when it comes to getting into the parking lots and to your seat. This needs to be addressed before next year. But there is no way for the Chiefs to make more money by fixing the problem so it will remain a problem.

•“It’s awesome and electric! It’s seems to be 50-50. It’s much better than even any bowl game atmosphere we’ve experienced.”
Chris Gervino, MU sideline reporter, gauging the Arrowhead crowd prior to kickoff, Tiger Radio Network

•“Let’s send it back to Matt (Winer) in New York.”
Brent Musburger, ABC
GH: ABC reporter Matt Winer broke into the game broadcast numerous times throughout the night with annoying “updates” about games that had been over for hours. By the start of the second half, I wanted Matt Winer to go one-on-one with Striker Shulock.

•“It feels like about 50/50, Lee. We were told to expect a lot more Jayhawk fans.”
Chris Fowler, commenting that the Arrowhead crowd appeared to be evenly split between MU and KU fans, ABC

•“Marlon Rucker.”
Lee Corso, ABC
GH: Lee should have kept the Truman head on for the game broadcast to match his clown image. Only Beano Cook is less knowledgeable than Corso when it comes to ESPN analysts.

•“This measures up to a Southeast Conference game any day of the week.”
John Kadlec, MU radio analyst, Tiger Radio Network
GH: Way to shoot for the stars, coach. I no longer write my weekly OTC columns but I still listen to the radio and watch the TV broadcasts of every MU, KU and KSU game. I am here to report that Coach Kadlec remains the worst radio color analyst in captivity.

•“Well, I’ll tell you what…”
John Kadlec, MU radio analyst, Tiger Radio Network
GH: Kadlec cannot go two sentences without uttering this annoying phrase. Try counting how many times he uses it during the Oklahoma game and I know you’ll hit 50 before the start of the third quarter.

GAME BITES

•“What’s different about this (game at Arrowhead) is that you have about 30- or 40 thousand people yelling no matter who has the football. It’s an atmosphere you just can’t practice for. It’s a tremendous atmosphere.”
David Lawrence, KU radio analyst, Jayhawk Radio Network
GH: Lawrence is such an upgrade from Max Falkenstein, it’s like going from DOS to Windows Vista.

•“Tony Temple is not only physical but he has patience like all great backs have. …Tony Temple brings so much life to this offense because he is so physical as a runner. … Temple is such a physical runner!”
Kirk Herbstreit, ABC
GH: Herbstreit commented on Temple’s physical running style at least three different times. Forget about Temple returning for a fifth year. He has NFL aspirations and has heard from NFL scouts who tell him he could go as early as the second round in this spring’s draft. I hate NFL scouts.

•“We were wondering if Todd Reesing would ditch his gloves. He did ditch a glove on that drive but it was on his left (non-throwing) hand.”
Nate Bukaty, KU sideline reporter, Jayhawk Radio Network
GH: Bukaty kept his radio audience aware of the ongoing injury situations that were hampering the KU linemen. The ABC crew never mentioned it.

•“Missouri’s coaches will tell you, ‘We welcome the blitz. We’ve got a quarterback who makes quick decisions and we’re going to abuse them with that blitz.’”
Kirk Herbstreit, ABC
GH: ABC showed no video replay of the pivotal holding call on Kansas that allowed Mizzou’s second scoring drive to remain alive. Maybe Herby and were too busy fluffing for that riveting Carl Peterson interview.

•“We stayed with it and persevered and this is what we see. We’ve got over 80,000 people here, Brent.”
Carl Peterson, in self-congratulatory mode as he surveyed the sold-out stadium, ABC
GH: Carl NEVER misses an opportunity to get some face time on network television – even if his interview detracts from KU’s attempt to score before the end of the first half. He appeared in the ABC booth in the second quarter despite there being little reason for him to be there. He looked bearish in his brown turtleneck and matching brown suit. But the streak of white hair down the middle of his pompadour makes him look a bit like a skunk.

•“They (the Jayhawks) are getting exposed. They have never seen talent like this before.”
Kirk Herbstreit, with 3:40 left in the second quarter, ABC
GH: Following this comment, KU’s defense promptly held Mizzou on fourth-and-one to give the ball back to their offense. I was unhappy that the network broadcasters were so quick to turn on Kansas and treat them as imposters. Despite their turnovers, poor passes, lack of a running game and inability to stop Chase Daniel, they only lost by a mere 8 points to the number-one team in the nation. Not an embarrassing night for the Hawks to say the least.

•“The confidence that Daniel has in his players is unbelievable.”
Craig James, college football analyst, ABC
GH: The radio coverage for both the KU and MU broadcasts were about 10 seconds ahead of the ABC’s HD telecast and about 6 seconds ahead of the non-HD telecast. This makes doing what I do for this column a nightmare. Gone are the days when you could turn down the TV sound to listen to your local radio play-by-play radio team.

•“Forget that business about West Virginia. I just don’t believe they are that good.”
Senator Kit Bond, during a halftime interview with Gervino, Tiger Radio Network
GH: Politicians at sporting events are great for soundbites. Bond could care less if he ticked off any non-MU fans. None of them have a vote. It is also why I believe Judge Lee Hull will be retained next time by his largest margin ever.

•“I offered some good old Missouri barbecue to my Kansas colleagues (in the Senate) but none of them came back with anything (worthwhile). They offered tumbleweeds or something like that.”
Senator Kit Bond, saying he was unable to secure a bet on the game in the Senate, Tiger Radio Network

•“What jumped out to me in the first half was the poor play of Kansas’ defense.”
Desmond Howard, college football analyst, ABC
GH: What jumped out at me is that Desmond was a far better receiver than he is an analyst. Kansas held the best offense in the nation to 14 first-half points while their offense was turning the ball over and blowing multiple red-zone opportunities.

•“Kansas: as thrilling as you’d hoped.”
TV commercial, promoting tourism in Kansas for thinkkansas.com, ABC
GH: The above text was accompanied with video of a man-nerd riding a mountain bike through the woods. I can only imagine how “thrilling” that must have looked to out-of-state viewers.

•“F—!”
Todd Reesing, showing his frustration while on the sideline talking to a coach in the booth after another interception, ABC

•“I am really impressed with this Missouri offensive line.”
Kirk Herbstreit, ABC
GH: Take a bow Missouri natives. Four of the five starters on the Tigers’ offensive line are from small Missouri burgs. That is pretty darn cool.

•“Kansas will be back in this football game when they make a stop. They can’t continue to keep going back and forth or they’ll never catch up.”
David Lawrence, KU radio analyst, after KU scored to close to within 14 points of Mizzou, Jayhawk Radio Network
GH: I sat up in my couch when I heard this comment by Lawrence. This is what a radio color analyst is supposed to sound like. He didn’t give his KU audience a bunch or rah rah slobber after their second TD. He told them their defense needed to strap on their chinstraps and stop somebody or this game was over. Great stuff.

•“There’s some arguing going on between some KU players on the near sideline.”
Mike Kelly, as KU’s defensive unit showed some late-game frustration after Mizzou picked up yet another first down with less than six minutes remaining in the game, Tiger Radio Network
GH: Chase Daniel, with his feet, arm and heart, could frustrate even the Swiss into a civil war.

•“If you are Kansas, you’re going to say, ‘We were there to make plays. We just didn’t tackle.’”
Kirk Herbstreit, ABC
GH: And if you’re Missouri, you’re going to say, ‘You might have been there but you couldn’t tackle us because we outran and outhit you.’”

•“What about Oklahoma? What about LSU? What about Georgia…?”
Musburger and Herbstreit, discussing the possible BCS match-ups while KU’s offense was desperately trying to mount a fourth-quarter comeback, ABC
GH: I wanted to crawl through my television and strangle these two during this idiotic and disrespectful display. Kansas was still trying to win the damn game but the two network suits acted as if they were at a sports bar watching the game.

•“They (the Arrowhead stadium crew) are all waiting for the buzzer to go off. Well, I guess you don’t really have a buzzer in football, do you?”
Lisa Salters, ABC’s sideline reporter, ABC
GH: We heard very little from Lisa during the game. This was a good thing.

•“Safety. Ball game. Bingo. Missouri is going to knock off its archrival.”
Mike Kelly, play-by-play call of MU’s game-winning safety, Tiger Radio Network

•“I see a lot of blue vacancies.”
John Kadlec, on the number of KU fans leaving after Reesing was sacked for a safety with only 12 seconds left in the game, Tiger Radio Network
GH: Kadlec has a lot of built up hostility for the Crimson and Blue. Read on.

•“This is terrific, I’ll tell you what. You know, I fought KU all my life as a player and as a coach and I tell you what. It couldn’t happen to a better bunch than KU.”
John Kadlec, moments after the MU win, Tiger Radio Network
GH: A few more John Kadlecs in the stands and maybe the police would have had a busy night.

POST GAME BITES

•“We out-physicalled KU for four quarters.”
Tony Temple, Tiger Radio Network

•“Tony Temple will be a difference maker in the Oklahoma game. Mark my word.”
Richard Baldinger, Metro Sports
GH: Temple was hurt and did not play in MU’s loss in Norman. He looks very healthy now.

•“We’re going to play in a very attractive bowl game and have the best season ever.”
David Lawrence, Jayhawk Radio Network
GH: A Cotton Bowl representative told Brad Porter on Metro Sports that they would love to pair Kansas with either LSU or Arkansas. When you chose to eat cupcakes in September, remember that you might be served prime rib in January.

•“Everyone was on their very best behavior. At least the fans that we saw.”
Jim Flink, Channel 9
GH: Kudos to everyone who attended the game and showed the nation what a class act our college fans can be.

•“(Chase Daniel) was absolutely brilliant in this game tonight.”
Chris Fowler, ABC

•“He doesn’t look like physically he can move around as well as he does.”
Lee Corso, ABC

•“I saw a guy (in Daniel) who has outstanding leadership.”
Kirk Herbstreit, ABC

•“I’m just trying to make plays with my feet.”
Chase Daniel, ABC
GH: No one talks about Daniel’s feet enough. He has a great arm, head and leadership skills but he makes plays because of his feet. If Reesing had his wheels, KU wins this game.

•“Oklahoma is going to be so tired of hearing about Chase Daniel and the Tigers that they are going to be fired up about going against Missouri. Missouri is a much better team going into San Antonio than when they had to play Oklahoma (in Norman).”
Kirk Herbstreit, ABC

•“One thing I can guarantee is that Oklahoma is going to have to outscore them.”
Lee Corso, ABC
GH: Somebody get the Truman head and stuff it down this numbnut's’ throat.

•“It’s going to come down to can Missouri beat Oklahoma and advance or are they going to open the door for Ohio State?”
Kirk Herbstreit, ABC

•“Coach Mangino doesn’t want (the players) talking out here right now so back to you.”
Karen Kornacki, after having her interview with a KU player cut short by a curt off-camera comment from Mangino, Channel 9
GH: Mangino looked completely lost on the sideline for most of the game. While Pinkel was living and dying with each play and call in the second half, Mangino appeared to be too cold to move. I think his lack of energy hurt his team’s confidence.

•“A lot of the pregame talk was how the Tigers were the better team because they’d played a tougher schedule. How true.
Jeffrey Flanagan, Kansas City Star
GH: I don’t think these two teams’ non-conference schedule had anything to do with this game’s outcome. Mizzou is better than Kansas because they have better playmakers and a guy named Chase Daniel. Switch non-con schedules and MU still wins this game.

•“I didn’t feel out of sync. It’s just that every throw you make is not going to be perfect. I wasn’t out of sync.”
Todd Reesing, Metro Sports
GH: Reesing sure looked out of sync. ABC gave us plenty of close-ups and Reesing’s face looked lost. This was in contrast to the cocky Reesing who stuck his bearded mug in an ABC camera as he entered the stadium and shouted, “Game time, baby!”

•“It had no affect. This week at practice it felt like I had a better grip on the ball.”
Todd Reesing, when asked if his gloves affected his play, Metro Sports
GH: Old guys like myself make way too much over modern-day athletes wearing gloves or using state-of-the-art gear. It is no longer 1963 and Vince Lombardi is dead. If it helps, use it.

•“It’s certainly a significant impact not only on our football program but our whole university.”
Mike Alden, on MU’s win, Metro Sports
GH: Just ask Kansas State what a successful football program can do for your university.

•“Do you think Kansas has faced anyone as physical as you? Who’s number one?”
Neal Jones, postgame questions to MU players, Metro Sports
GH: Neal Jones usually does a decent job on these postgame interviews but he whiffed badly Saturday night. He was caught asking the same flaccid questions to every MU player he corralled. Weak.

•“The two best teams are Ohio State and West Virginia.”
Mark May, college football analyst, shortly after he watched MU beat KU, ESPN

•“I think USC might be better than anybody.”
Lou Holtz, ESPN

•“How did that Oklahoma team go to Colorado and lose?”
Dave Stewart, Metro Sports
GH: Damn good question. Is Oklahoma legit or ripe for a Nebraska-like spanking at the hands of Mizzou? I think maybe the latter.

•“You just had that sinking feeling in your stomach that no matter what (Kansas) did, when they got near the Red Zone, the Kryptonite was coming out of the stadium and it did. It cost them on missed field goals. It cost them on interceptions and again on balls thrown behind receivers.”
Richard Baldinger, Metro Sports
GH: Baldinger has gotten very good at this postgame analyst work. He still sounds like a lineman but he thinks like an offensive coordinator. He did an excellent job of breaking down plays in the MU/KU game and explaining why they did and did not work. Nice haircut as well.

•“A lot of credit has to be given to the crew here at Arrowhead for getting this stadium and this field ready for NFL action here today after the big match-up last night, Kansas and Missouri. …Some people were celebrating the Border War until 1 AM at the hotel. But driving into the facility you would have had no idea this morning that 80,000 people were here just hours before the early morning call.”
Ian Eagle, the CBS play-by-play broadcaster for the Raiders/Chiefs game, CBS
GH: We take for granted that our stadiums and public facilities will be clean for every event. I cannot imagine many cities east of St. Louis who could pull off what the Arrowhead crew did in less than 12 hours. Amazing job.

•“While watching (the MU/KU game) I didn’t slap my forehead at any point and say, ‘Holy moly, Mike! You’re watching the two best teams in America!’ I think when this thing sorts itself out as best it can in this stupid system, Ohio State’s going to end up playing West Virginia for the national championship.”
Mike Lupica, ESPN

•“I think I would rather have West Virginia play uh, the team we saw last night. Assuming they can get by the team they already lost to.”
Bob Ryan, who apparently has no idea who Missouri or Oklahoma are, ESPN

•“This is not against Missouri – I love their quarterback — but I think they are going to lose to Oklahoma.”
Mike Lupica, ESPN
GH: It has been awhile since I have tuned into the Sunday ESPN SportsReporters and I now know why I have stayed away. These crotchety old men need a real infusion of youth into their gene pool. Too bad they couldn’t get along with Jason Whitlock because it appears to me they need him more than he needs them.

(Reach Greg Hall by sending email to Greghall24@yahoo.com)

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National pundits chime in as game time is here

Posted 11-24-07

Game day. Finally. The best sports fans in America live in the Kansas City area and we have finally been rewarded with a college football game to match our passion. Let’s get it on!

•“They don’t like us. We don’t like them. We are gonna settle it on the football field.”
Don Fambrough, former KU football coach, Fox 4
GH: The longest week in the memory of many is finally over. Missouri plays Kansas tonight in the biggest college football game in the history of either school. And we all just happen to be alive to bare witness and retell this story to future generations. This is but the first of three pivotal games that could rewrite the history of both schools.

•“It’s the reason you come play college football – to play in an atmosphere like this.”
Todd Reesing, KU quarterback, ESPN
GH: The atmosphere at ESPN Gameday inside Arrowhead’s parking lot looked to be as fun and festive as any the ESPN crew has witnessed. Let’s hope that carries over to inside the stadium this evening. I have serious doubts that will occur.

•“If (MU or KU) lose this game, as magical as this season has been, it is a failure.”
Kirk Herbstreit, ESPN
GH: Only for Mizzou if they should lose. To have their magical season crushed by Kansas would be the deepest cut in the Tiger hide that has ever been inflicted – and this Cat has some deep gouges already missing from its carcass.

•“Win or you’re done.”
Kirk Herbstreit, when asked if MU or KU could somehow make their way to the BCS title game if they lose Saturday, ESPN
GH: A KU loss would place them at 11-1 and still a viable choice if West Virginia and Mizzou were to lose again. But the nation doesn’t have enough respect for an 11-1 Jayhawks team to bump them past Ohio State or even a two-loss USC.

•“I like the Buckeyes as the best one-loss team in the nation right now over Missouri. I do.”
Lee Corso, ESPN
GH: Corso might harbor a bit of animosity toward Mizzou. Remember Gary Pinkel’s less than flattering comments a few years back about the former Indiana football coach? “If I had to choose 100 former coaches to ask for advice, Lee Corso would not be one of them,” said Pinkel.

•“In the BCS do you ever truly control your own destiny?
Chris Fowler, College Gameday host, ESPN
GH: Kansas is the only team remaining that truly controls their own destiny in the BCS. Two more wins and they will be playing for a national football championship in New Orleans’ Superdome. Did I just write that?

•“The more physical team will win nine times out of ten.”
Lou Holtz, summarizing why Arkansas was able to defeat LSU, ESPN
GH: Is Kansas more physical than Mizzou? That is the common perception and I believe it to be true.

•“This is the only game of the year where the head coaches don’t have to coach. They can just sit back and let the players play.”
Corby Jones, former Mizzou QB, Channel 9
GH: Channel 9, 38 and Fox 4 produced special KU/MU shows for Friday night programming. The Channel 9 show was a disaster. It was hosted by Len Dawson and simulcast on 810 AM radio. The dazed Dawson and live TV are a combination no one should have to witness. The scene inside the 810 Zone restaurant in Leawood was remarkable in that it looked as if they had managed to attract every “Before” candidate for those weight-loss ads.

•“I think you’re going to see Kansas’ secondary exposed tonight.”
Pete Fiutak, college football columnist for CollegeFootballNews.com. ESPN Radio

•“I like Missouri only because Kansas has not seen the athletes that Missouri has on the offensive side of the ball.”
Jesse Palmer, college football analyst, ESPN

•“Missouri is clearly the more explosive team while Kansas is a team that is not going to beat itself. I think the big factor in this is that Missouri has somewhat been here before. I think Chase Daniel is going to get it done in the fourth quarter. I think Missouri wins 42-31.”
Gabe DeArmond, writer for powermizzou.com, 810 AM

•“My official pick is Missouri. I think Missouri, when they play their best, can take it to another level. The problem is that Missouri doesn’t always play at their best.”
Stan Weber, 810 AM
GH: There is an awful lot of love for Mizzou in this game – both nationally and locally.

•“I don’t think they (Missouri) pass West Virginia (in the BCS) because of the name on the jersey. What happened to Auburn a few years a go could happen to them.”
Spencer Tillman, college football studio analyst, when asked if a Missouri win over Kansas and a win next week in the Big 12 title game would be enough for them to overtake West Virginia in the BCS poll, CBS
GH: Tillman’s comments were the most degrading to the Mizzou football program that I heard all week. It is his opinion that the Missouri program is simply not respected enough to overtake West Virginia, a team that has never played in the BCS title game.

•“I’m gonna go with the one they call Sparky. I’m gonna go with the Jayhawks tonight.”
Desmond Howard, college football analyst, ESPN

•“I see a shootout. I can’t make a pick. I’m going to leave that to Lee.”
Kirk Herbstreit, ESPN

•“Go Tigers!”
Lee Corso, after donning the Truman the Tiger mascot head on ESPN Gameday

•“The team that’s going to win is the team that doesn’t freeze.”
Lee Corso, ESPN
GH: Game time temps are expected in the low 30s. Chase Daniel throws a bullet ball and his receivers will need to adjust to the colder climate.

•“Is that a little manscaping there?”
Chris Fowler, after spotting some male MU fans who had shaved the letter M & U into their chest hairs, ESPN

•“There are some very creative signs back here. Let me tell you.”
Chris Fowler, on the creative nature of the fans at ESPN Gameday
GH: Some of my favorite signs displayed Saturday morning are below.
·“Bizarro World”
·“Lou Holtz is my baby’s daddy.”
·“ESPN, Obesity lives here.”
·“Mangino plays with Self.”
·“Mangino causes world hunger.”
·“Chase fears the Boogerman.”
·“Eat more Jayhawk.” (in the Chick-fil-A font)

•“Police have said that students who believe tearing down the goalposts is a good idea will go directly to jail. They will not pass Go. It would be in your best interest to stay off the field.”
Dave Stewart, 810 AM
GH: The goalposts are going down tonight and no one will be able to stop it. The Chiefs will need to use temporary posts for the Raiders’ game or work all night to replace the vanquished uprights.

•“I just don’t have the concern (for violent behavior at Arrowhead) that everyone else does. If a group of two or three thousand Kansas or Missouri students run onto the field then give it a shot I guess. I just don’t see that being a problem. The longer the week goes, I have the feeling people are going to use good common sense.”
Dave Borchard, 810 AM
GH: Good common sense and rivalry football games scheduled to start at 7 PM are two things as divergent as the North and South poles. Check back Monday for my postgame OTC column.

Reach the columnist at GregHall24@yahoo.com

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Former players, coach chime in on the big showdown

Posted 11-23-07

I know I said I was only going to write four columns on the Border War but check back Saturday afternoon for an extra helping of pre-game OTC. I hope to get some national perspective and also cover the comments from ESPN Gameday at Arrowhead.

•“I know the exact moment when this (Missouri football) program was reborn. It was when we beat Colorado in the cold in 1997. We flew back to Columbia and there were literally thousands of Missouri fans waiting for us in the cold rain at the airport. That’s when it hit us – what we had done. Larry Smith gets the title of Father (of Mizzou football’s rebirth). I’m not sure who the mother was.”
Brock Olivo, former all-time MU rushing leader and a native of Washington, MO, 810 AM
GH: There are fans located a bit to the north who believe Bill Callahan was the mother…

•“We (Kansas) don’t have the kind of talent that you find in…in…uh, I don’t know what to say. I want to say in teams that are in the Top 5 — but WE are a top-5 team!”
Bill Whittemore, former KU quarterback, 810 AM
GH: Whittemore has always been my second-favorite all-time KU player just behind the great Nolan Cromwell. Whittemore played with incredible heart and Cromwell was simply superhuman running the option. My two favorite MU players? James Wilder and Brock Olivo. Wilder crushed my heart (and the Nebraska defense in 1978) but he did it in such a way that I have always admired him. Olivo embodies everything you want in your home-state hero – talent, an indomitable work ethic and fairytale-like stories of his accomplishments.

•“I don’t think the Tigers are going to let down. I think this is a machine that is going to be hard to stop right now. I think we are going to be hard to beat.”
Brock Olivo, 810 AM
GH: Brock is now living in Italy with his wife (whom he met in Washington D.C.). Brock also sadly reported that his famous workout hill in Columbia has been leveled due to new construction in that area. Progress does not always result in the greater good.

•“Well, it’s better to have the Mizzou coach salute you than have your own fans salute you. So that’s okay.”
Glen Mason, former Kansas football coach, when asked about Larry Smith giving him the infamous one-arm salute after KU defeated Mizzou in 1995, 810 AM
GH: Mason is one of my all-time favorite Big 8/12 coaches. His weekly radio show was the best coach’s show I have ever listened to – and I’ve heard one or two of those over the years. He was always frank, funny and ready to disagree with an angry caller. So many of the coaches’ radio shows today are little more than scripted public relations pabulum. Most coaches don’t even take live phone calls anymore. Mason and Roy Williams were two guys who didn’t mind taking calls and taking callers on. I miss those radio days.

•“Interested (in coaching again) is an understatement. I am chomping at the bit! It is in my blood. I’d love to coach again.”
Glen Mason, 810 AM
GH: Mason is a helluva coach but he isn’t your button-down conservative kind of guy that so many schools now want to attach themselves to. KSU’s Ron Prince sounds like a CEO when he speaks and never says anything remotely scandalous — but I’m not so sure he can coach or recruit. Mason would look very good in purple. He would also improve on Prince’s 0-6 record against Kansas, Mizzou and Nebraska.

•“I’m here at Kansas and I’m not looking to go anywhere.”
Mark Mangino, when asked if he was interested in coaching at Penn State, Hawk Talk
GH: There has been a lot of speculation in the local media about Mangino and Gary Pinkel being hot coaching prospects for other schools. They both are the flavor of the day in college football but neither has proven anything yet. Pinkel has a chance to go to Michigan if he wins the national title but that chance is slim. There is nothing slim about Mangino and that is exactly why even a national crown might not be enough to fit him through another school’s door.

•“We’re going to stay here and treat it like a home game.”
Mark Mangino, stating the Jayhawks would sleep in their own beds Friday night, Wichita Eagle
GH: You think the wait for you has been excruciating? Imagine being 21 years old and a member of either team. These guys will be so jacked up by 7 PM Saturday that they may be exhausted before the end of the first quarter. I think we’re going to see a much lower-scoring game than expected. Something like 24-21.

•“My wife just told me on the phone, she said, ‘This is the biggest game you’ve ever coached in.’ Are you kidding me? My own wife is putting pressure on me!”
Gary Pinkel, 810 AM

•“This will be the worst (playing) surface you have played on this year.”
Kevin Kietzman, to Gary Pinkel, 810 AM
GH: Arrowhead’s natural-grass field is an embarrassment and has been for years. The Chiefs need to replace that stubble and paint they call grass with Field Turf and bring their field up to the level of Platte County R-3's High School stadium. Somebody get King Carl the cell number for PC’s superintendent, Mark Harpst.

•“They know I’m going to be biased for MU and there’s nothing they can do about it.”
Larry Moore, Channel 9 news anchor, when asked how his bosses at Channel 9 approach him about showing favoritism for MU, 810 AM
GH: If only TV news anchors reported the news with this same candor.

•“I’m new to this Kansas football thing. I’ve always been a Kansas basketball fan. And I know there are a lot of Kansas fans like me.”
Laura Moritz, Channel 9 news anchor, 810 AM
GH: From the mouth of a babe…or former babe.

•“It’s pretty crazy on campus right now. There’s tons of students walking around with undefeated shirts and football jerseys on. I think just about everyone on campus is now a KU football fan, which was not the case at the beginning of the season.”
Jason Baker, KU junior, AP

•“I hardly know how to act.”
Robert Hemenway, KU Chancellor, after the Jayhawks’ 45-7 win over Iowa State on Saturday brought KU’s record to 11-0, AP

•“Kansas basketball players used to be the only celebrities on campus. Many students didn’t even know what the football players looked like. Now, the Kansas football players can’t go out to eat without being congratulated by fans.”
Jason Baker, KU junior, AP
GH: The times they are a changin'. Next thing you know the Royals will get tired of celebrating non-100-loss seasons.

•“We’re right where we thought we would be. In our minds, we haven’t done anything special yet.”
Chase Daniel, Mizzou quarterback, Philadelphia Daily News
GH: Here is the difference between KU and MU this season. MU thinks they belong here and KU is pretty sure they do not. But come Saturday evening nothing matters except that they both are where they are with a chance to win everything they have ever dreamed of and more. BTW – The Philadelphia Daily News spelled Mizzou with two s’s, as in Missou. Win Saturday night and that (and a lot more) will change.

(Reach Greg Hall via email to greghall24@yahoo.com)

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King Carl quick to take credit for bringing this game to Arrowhead

Posted 11-22-07

Just a note of caution to those venturing out to Arrowhead on Saturday evening. As I strolled around the concourse of our stunning new Sprint Center Monday night, I came across a scuffle between some Missouri fans and a lone Jayhawk. It looked like a re-enactment of Quantrill’s raid in that the Jayhawk fared about as well as his ancestors back in 1863. And this was during a basketball game between UCLA and Maryland. Only the hearty should brave the demons that await them at Arrowhead this Saturday.

•“We’re are an Eastern-based magazine with an East Coast bias… The news dictates where you need personnel. I’m sure we’ll do a full blowout of the Kansas-Missouri game.”
Damian Strohmeyer, photographer for Sports Illustrated, on the magazine’s plans to cover the MU/KU game, Topeka Capital Journal
GH: The Journal reports that Strohmeyer grew up in Axtell, graduated from Washburn and began his photography at The Topeka Capital-Journal. When even the stuffy East Coast journalists take note of a college football game west of Ohio, you know something special is brewing. KU’s Kerry Meier graced the cover of this week’s SI and I expect a multiple-page game story in next week’s issue.

•“Back in August, I was asked to research and compile a list of the five most memorable games for 25 different college football rivalries for an SI.com video project. One of them was Kansas-Missouri. I remember struggling desperately to find even a handful of games in the series’ 106-year history that carried some semblance of national significance. (To put it in perspective, one of the five wound up being a 1973 win that sent Kansas to the Liberty Bowl.) Three months later, I’ll be heading to Kansas City next weekend for a game that trumps every previous edition ever played between these two bitter rivals in terms of its national importance: No. 2 Kansas vs. No. 3 Missouri. Can you believe it? And to think someone in Lawrence had the foresight to pick this of all years to move the game to Arrowhead (and that the Big 12 had the good sense to move it back to Thanksgiving weekend last year after a 10-year hiatus), only adding to the hype.
Stewart Mandel, columnist, SportsIllustrated.com
GH: It was only a few years ago that this game was drawing so little interest from its own fans that the two schools agreed to move it to earlier in the season to prevent it from being a late-season meaningless game between two also-rans.

•“It took me 15 years to get this game at Arrowhead Stadium.”
Carl Peterson, taking credit for fact this game is in Arrowhead this year, Fox 4
GH: Lamar Hunt paid King Carl handsomely because he is a genius at making Midwesterners part with their cash. Kansas Speedway should hire Carl to run their new casino.

•“I would love to know what (Carl Peterson’s) percentage is on this deal. Carl Peterson will make more money than anyone else on this deal. I know he has got to be making 10s of thousands of dollars if not 100s.”
Kevin Kietzman, 810 AM
GH: Why care what Carl’s take is on this deal? It is a stroke of marketing genius (and a load of luck) to land these two teams at Arrowhead at the apex of their existence. I have bashed Carl as hard as anyone in the past but he deserves nothing but kudos for pulling off this deal.

•“Kansas and Missouri fans are concerned about the lack of interest in other areas (of the country) for this game… How excited would you be if the number two team in the nation was Baylor and the number four team was Oklahoma State for a chance to go to play for a national championship? Please understand that this is the equivalent of that.”
Kevin Kietzman, 810 AM
GH: Spoken like the bitter K-State fan that KK is and apparently always will be. KU is not Baylor and MU certainly isn’t OSU. Mizzou was ranked in almost everyone’s preseason top 25 and was the consensus pick to win the North. Kansas will play in their third bowl game in the past six years under Mangino. KK simply cannot stand that these two programs are getting the hype once reserved for only K-State in this two-state region.

•“If Mark Mangino loses this game he’ll get the proverbial pat on the back and told what a great season they had. …Kansas fans will then just get ready for the Arizona basketball game. If Gary Pinkel loses they (MU fans) are gonna clobber him.”
Kevin Kietzman, 810 AM
GH: KK hit this one squarely on the helmet. My KU friends have tried to convince me this game means as much to KU fans as MU fans. Not even remotely close.

•“I grew up in Missouri and went to school at Kansas. I just don’t think (the MU/KU rivalry) is derivative of something that happened 150 years ago.”
Marty Wall, refusing to believe remnants of the Civil War still fuel this rivalry, 610 AM
GH: Not only do I believe the Civil War still plays into the hatred these two schools have for each other, I also think they will feel the exactly same way 300 years from now.

•“Anyone who sees this game as anything more than a sporting event needs to get back on the meds. …It’s not like Democrats and Republicans and the danger to America if a Democrat becomes President.”
Mike Shanin, 980 AM
GH: Shanin has teamed with Scott Parks on for an entertaining afternoon drive-time show on KMBZ. His tongue is almost always firmly planted in his cheek but it’s the callers who take him literally who are the most entertaining.

•“Armageddon at Arrowhead”
Jason Whitlock, The Kansas City Star
GH: Whitlock authored this phrase in the Sunday Star and has written and spoken this phrase since then more often than his usual favorite: “Biggie size that sucka!”

•“He’s got a huge Syracuse basketball thing back there this week.
Neal Jones, explaining to a caller while DA (Damon Amendolara) is not hosting his morning show on KCSP this week, 610 AM
GH: How can DA not be here the week of the Armageddon at Arrowhead? How does a “huge basketball thing at Syracuse” in November even remotely compare to the biggest college football game in the history of our two local schools? Wow! I cannot believe DA chose to miss this week. Unforgivable.

(Check back Friday for another Off the Couch preview of the MU-KU showdown, then click back here on Monday for the post-game wrap-up. Email the columnist at greghall24@yahoo.com)

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Comments from circuit court judge fan the flames of MU/KU rivalry

Posted 11-21-07

Even I was getting tired of reading my four-year-old OTC columns on The Landmark’s website. Your OTC columnist is back this week for a Garth Brooks-like engagement. The Border War to end all Border Wars is of course why I dusted off the keyboard. My column will be appearing daily through this Friday and then I’ll have a postgame wrap-up column online on Monday. My email address is still greghall24@yahoo.com so let me know if you are out there.

•“As a Mizzou fan, I think Lawrence ought to be sacked and pillaged every time we play them. I want them to lose in everything. Croquet. Pingpong. Synchronized swimming. Everything.”
Lee Hull, Platte County Circuit Court Judge in Platte City, MO, Kansas City Star
GH: It was this quote from Judge Hull that persuaded me out of OTC retirement this week. I met Hull when I was a juror for a murder trial he presided over in Platte City years ago. I have also spoken with the Judge a time or two at The Landmark’s annual Christmas parties. I like Hull, but I’m a Nebraska native and the Civil War never really reached South Omaha. Kansans who read Hull’s comments felt a bit more violated. Read on.

•“As he is saying this, Hull is sitting in the same courthouse in Platte City that was burned down in 1861 by, some say, Kansas supporters. His window looks west toward the state you’d be hard-pressed to ever see him set foot in. On his wall is a framed print of Confederate guerilla William Quantrill’s sacking of Lawrence. Fixed to the print is a small gold plaque Hull had installed, one that still makes him chuckle: ‘1863, Missouri vs. Kansas, Missouri 183, Kansas 0.’ No, this isn’t your everyday sports rivalry.”
Bill Reiter, staff writer, Kansas City Star
GH: The 183 score Hull’s plaque attributes to Missouri for the Quantrill raid is in reference to the 183 Kansans who were killed during the raid on Lawrence. When the national media ranks the college sports rivalries in order of importance (as they often like to do) keep this little fact in mind. How many Auburn families have been murdered by Alabama alums? How many SoCal fans have perished from the sword of a Golden Domer? No college rivalry – NONE – compare to what goes on in our backyard with Kansas and Missouri.

•“I think Judge Hull has got it nailed perfect. Ever hear of the 3 sons of Kansas? Sunshine, sunflowers, and sons of bitches.”
Posted by: Frank James, Kansas City Star website
GH: I grabbed this quote and four more below from The Star’s website. They are from readers who posted their own comments after reading Hull’s incendiary words.

•“This man is a judge, and he thinks it’s funny that 183 people, including women and children, were murdered? Maybe someone needs to take a look into his background a little closer.”
Posted by: Chief 1969, Kansas City Star website

•“Your (Jayhawk) mascot is named after a band of rebels that slaughtered hundreds of innocent women and children. The only reason Quantrill burned Lawrence was because he was avenging all the horrible things the Jayhawkers had done to Missouri. Go read a history book or watch Josey Wales.”
Posted by: True Son, Kansas City Star website
GH: I wish my history prof had given me that option. Granny Hawkins (from the movie The Outlaw Josey Wales) didn’t think much of the Show Me State. “Anything about Missouri has a taint about it. I never heard of nice things from Missouri coming West. And treadin’ lightly is not my way. We’re from Kansas. Jayhawkers. And proud of it,” she proclaimed.

EDITOR'S NOTE: For more Landmark coverage of Judge Hull's MU-KU views, go to http://www.plattecountylandmark.com/ifoley.htm

•“I think the fact that Mizzou’s QB ate a booger during a game is just perfect (check out U-Tube Mizzourah). He probably didn’t get enough possum dinner before the game. KU = Class, Culture, Integrity, Champions, Equality for All Races
MU = Inbred Hillbillies
Sorry MU fans, I tried to use as many small words as possible.”
Posted by: Possum trotters, Kansas City Star website

•“Most of Mizzou fans’ hatred of Kansas stems from the all-around mental retardation of the Jayhawk state. It is a state full of yokels, abstinence-banning right-wing maniacs, and culture-dumb farmers. Need I say more?
Posted by: Tigerrr, Kansas City Star website

•But Kansans have their own T-shirt that they hope will offend Missourians. The shirt says: ‘Kansas: Keeping America safe from Missouri since 1854.’ The shirt features a drawing of abolitionist John Brown, who before his famous raid on Harpers Ferry led murderous raids against farms and families in pro-slavery Missouri.”
Adam Thompson, staff writer, The Wall Street Journal
GH: That’s right, this year’s Border War is being discussed in this week’s The Wall Street Journal.

•“I hate Kansas more than everything. I hate Kansas so much, I would rather have Kansas lose than have Missouri win.”
Dave Hickerson, MU fan who was spotted at the Velvet Dog wearing a Mizzou jersey with the name “Quantrill” on the back, The Wall Street Journal
GH: I am pretty sure Dave didn’t graduate.

•“We may not see this again in our lifetimes.”
Kevin Harlan, KU grad and former MU play-by-play voice, 810 AM
GH: This thought has sprung from both sides of this rivalry this week and from almost every media outlet. How sad. THIS is what this rivalry should be like on a regular basis. Why can’t MU and KU have dominant football programs and compete for the North and Big 12 titles on a regular basis…and occasionally meet as top-ranked foes? Why can’t KU/MU replace the Nebraska/Oklahoma rivalry that dominated my youth? Both schools are spending copious amounts of cash building their football programs to a level that can compete with any teams in the North. With the young all-conference talent on both teams, why not expect this game to become the Thanksgiving weekend affair that the nation looks forward to each season that NU/OU was during the 70s and 80s?

•“Few people know who Kansas quarterback Todd Reesing is yet, but he should be the Heisman Trophy front-runner. He has 30 touchdown passes (second most in the country) with only four interceptions, and has not thrown an interception in his past four games. He has done this despite not playing in the fourth quarter of five lopsided victories. Although he was a high school star in Austin, Texas, none of the Texas colleges recruited him because Reesing is 5-foot-10 (and probably closer to 5-9). Kansas coaches got wind of him because former assistant coach Pat Henderson, a family friend, sent a tape of Reesing’s game action to Jayhawks head coach Mark Mangino.”
Jake Curtis, staff writer, San Francisco Chronicle
GH: Colleges and scouting services spend millions trying to determine which high school studs will morph into great college players. The process is about as chaotic as a Wal-Mart parking lot on Black Friday…and just as ugly. Notre Dame and Nebraska probably could have had any of KU’s starting players out of high school. Next time you hear a recruiting expert expound on the wonders of some 17-year-old, take a deep breath and think of Reesing, Jordy Nelson and Ian Campbell.

•“You know what this is all about don’t you? BCS! That’s right. That’s what made the difference on the call in front of their bench — dollar signs. I’m not going to be pushed around because we’re not the big spenders, because we’re not the big BCS team in the league.”
Mark Mangino, after a controversial penalty gave Texas a 27-23 victory at Kansas in 2004
GH: The Wichita Eagle reports KU’s 2006 football expenses at just under $9 million – and that doesn’t take into account the coaching staff’s salaries. KU is spending about $50 million on their new football facilities. This is not your father’s Jayhawks football program.

•“Some radio mope said Kansas and Missouri ‘don’t move the needle.’ Move this, fool. Sooner or later you’ve got to pay attention to the teams, not the market share… This is the real World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party. Extra security will be needed.”
Dennis Dodd, online columnist and Mizzou grad, CBS Sports
GH: Some are estimating that Arrowhead’s parking lots will not only be inhabited by the 79,000 who have tickets to this game but another 10,000 people who just want to be a part of the biggest college game in both school’s history.

•“ESPN College GameDay will be visiting Arrowhead this Saturday as part of the network’s national college football coverage. The program is hosted by Chris Fowler with analysis provided by Lee Corso, Kirk Herbstreit and Desmond Howard. The TV set will be located in Parking Lot C and the program will run from 9:00–11:00 AM (Central). Fans are encouraged to come by and cheer on their favorite team. Fans can enter Gate 2 at Arrowhead Stadium at 7:00 AM. The gate is accessible off the Blue Ridge cut-off exit of I-70. There is no charge for parking. As soon as the show concludes at 11:00 AM, visitors must leave the stadium complex until 3:00 PM when the gates will open for the night’s game.”
Official Press Release from Kansas City Chiefs PR
GH: How out of touch are the Chiefs? This is an organization that can’t move their offense 10 yards in four plays and yet they expect to move five to ten thousand drunken MU/KU fans out of the Truman Sports Complex at 11 AM? Ain’t gonna happen. When the Chiefs struck this deal they thought they were getting a nice civilized rivalry game between a couple of six- or seven-win teams whose fan base would be more concerned about their basketball teams. Instead they will have Civil War II in their parking lot.

•“This is not a tailgate party, but an opportunity to watch Game Day live.”
Official Press Release from Kansas City Chiefs PR, urging fans to NOT tailgate during ESPN GameDay
GH: Not a tailgate party?!?! This mob is going to be roasting and burning everything that even floats past their parking space – including Bob Moore’s Truman Capote hat! I wouldn’t be surprised to see Kauffman Stadium go up in flames in the background just as Lee Corso is deciding which mascot head to don. (Insiders have Corso picking the Jayhawks to win with Kirk Herbstreit siding with Mizzou).

•“If people start taking some swings at each other, there better be some security there (at Arrowhead). I don’t think alcohol has anything to do with it in this one. I’m talking about people who don’t know each other who have such disgust for each other’s program that there is gonna be problems.”
Kevin Kietzman, 810 AM

•“Arrowhead officials, who typically replace about 15 of the stadium’s 80,000 seats following a Chiefs game, expect the Kansas-Missouri brawl to leave as many as 500 seats destroyed. Tickets with double-digit face values are selling for $300 online.”
Adam Thompson, staff writer, The Wall Street Journal
GH: And those are just the seats Mangino’s relatives will be sitting in.

(Check back for more Off the Couch on Thursday, Friday and a post-game wrap-up on Monday. In the meantime, email Greg Hall at greghall24@yahoo.com)

 

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Hall to post series of four columns about MU-KU showdown

Posted 11-20-07

Beginning on Wednesday, Nov. 21, Greg Hall, former Landmark writer whose weekly compilation of sports media sound bites--with some spicy editorial comments thrown in for good measure--was a popular feature in this newspaper for several years, is making a temporary comeback.

Hall will be penning four Off the Couch columns to be posted at plattecountylandmark.com over the next week, with the focus being on the big national showdown between Missouri and Kansas in college football. The teams will meet Saturday night at Arrowhead Stadium in a game with national title implications. Undefeated Kansas is currently ranked No. 2 in the nation while Missouri, with only one loss, is ranked No. 4 in the BCS and No. 3 in some polls.

Three pre-game columns by Hall will appear at plattecountylandmark.com, with the first appearing on Wednesday, the second on Thanksgiving Day and a third on Friday. The game is on Saturday and Hall's post-game column will be posted on Monday.

Hall's columns can be accessed by clicking on the Off the Couch tab on the left side of the front page at plattecountylandmark.com.

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Landmark now taking entries for NCAA bracket contest

Posted 3/12/07

The selections and seedings have been announced. . .it's time to get your entry into The Landmark's 11th annual NCAA bracket contest. The winner will receive $100 cash prize!!

As an added incentive this year, anyone scoring higher than Landmark publisher Ivan Foley wins two one-year subscriptions to The Landmark. Keep both for yourself or give one year to a friend or family member.

Entries are due by 11 a.m. on Thursday, March 15. Be sure to put your name and phone number on your bracket and fax it to 816-858-2313, or email it to ivan@plattecountylandmark.com.

Entries can also be dropped by The Landmark office at 252 Main Street in downtown Platte City.

Click here for a complete list of rules. Good luck!

 

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'Off the Couch' columnist turns in his remote

After 12 years, nearly half of those with The Landmark, he's calling it quits

Posted 2/10/05

It is time to get off the couch. After much debate inside my head and heart, I’ve decided to close down my weekly “Off The Couch” column.

The best advice anyone has ever bestowed upon a writer is: “Write what you know.” For the past 12 years I have tried to stay abreast of my subject matter to produce an informative and entertaining column. With family and business obligations requiring more and more of my time, I cannot devote the hours I believe necessary to continue writing a quality OTC column.

Since 1993 I have penned at least one OTC column each week. I started out faxing my Husker’s Sports Shorts to about 30 local media outlets and later included a number of businesses that asked to be added to the fax log. My first published OTC column appeared in the Johnson County Sun in June of 1995 under the title “Sports Waves.”

The Off The Couch moniker was born a year later during my early days at The Star. My sports editor, Dinn Mann, called me at home and told me he wanted to name my column, “One Fan’s Opinion.” I couldn’t think of anyone who would want to read an OFO column. Mann told me I had ten minutes to come up with something else because he needed to present the column title in an editors’ meeting. I called him back in five minutes with Off The Couch and that title has followed me from The Star, to ghall.com, to sportswaves.com, to The Landmark and The Pitch.

Since my column first ran in The Sun, it has appeared in some publication at least once a week every week for almost 10 years. I’ve always taken pride in that I have never missed a week. Now, after almost 1,700 columns and stories, it is time to thank my editors, readers and family and try something new. What that new writing endeavor will be I have yet to decide. I just know it is time to move on.

The strange yet wonderful relationships I’ve built with my readers is what I’ll miss the most. Some of you have been reading my scribblings since those very early days and I greatly appreciate your input and loyalty. I learned plenty from my many editors and copy editors. Some would say I have much to still learn. They would be correct.

A special thanks to Ivan Foley, my current editor and friend. Ivan emailed me shortly after I started up ghall.com in June of 1999. He told me he was a long-time fan and encouraged me to keep plugging away. A few months later he started publishing my OTC in The Landmark.

Foley isn’t your typical editor. He beat cancer a few years back and that victory instilled an attitude in him that few newspaper people possess. Once you’ve licked the Big C, there aren’t many politicians, big-money folks or general managers who scare you. Foley writes and publishes what he thinks his readers should know. He’s the best thing to happen to my OTC outside of Neilbonics.

I have truly enjoyed our time together. As Neil would say, it has been a “perceptional” experience.

•“On Saturday, Derrick Thomas missed out in his first try at the Hall of Fame. Someday, it seems sure, his football legacy will be honored there. Today, nearly five years after his death, meet his living legacy and see him as few could.”
Wright Thompson, staff writer, Kansas City Star
GH: The Star ran a front-page story Sunday glorifying Thomas that went on for two full pages inside the A-1 section. They were prepared for Thomas’ possible selection to the NFL Hall of Fame. Despite Saturday’s vote denying him this honor (one I believe he deserves), The Star ran the feature anyway. I can do without any more misguided stories by writers who did not know Thomas. Thomas was a media whore. He hounded Jason Whitlock to write about his trips to the library to read to children and the other charitable endeavors his agent and the Chiefs arranged. He told Whitlock he needed the publicity in order to be selected the NFL’s Man of the Year. At the time, Whitlock saw Thomas’ overt pursuit of publicity to be as shameful as I. “I can’t believe this guy,” said Whitlock. “His whole (off-the-field) image is fake.” Thompson’s pool of interviewees should have included a few people whom Derrick hadn’t given money to, is still giving money to or taken on exotic trips.

•“Honor family and appreciate marriage.”
Sara White, Reggie White’s widow, when asked by Fox’s James Brown what she most thought Reggie would want people to remember about him, Fox
GH: White’s words are in direct contrast to how Derrick Thomas lived his life. He fathered seven children by five women and managed to do all of this by avoiding marriage. Thomas was a fabulous football player but a dismal failure in the art of being a man.

•“IMADEIT”
Vanity license plates on one of Derrick Thomas’ vehicles
GH: Sad what some men consider to be the definition of success. My first thought was that Thomas’ plates might refer to the child of every “exotic dancer” in Kansas City.

•“The person (Bob Gretz) who spoke for Thomas highlighted the incredible pass rushing skills, but made the mistake of mentioning that ‘some question his skills as an all around linebacker.’ Once that was in voter’s mind, it killed Thomas’ chances.”
Dr. Z, NFL columnist for Sports Illustrated
GH: Why would the Chiefs send Gretz to do Lamar Hunt’s job? What are the chances of DT being a first-ballot HOFer if Lamar spends five minutes speaking on his behalf?

•“All I know is that I’m getting myself ready to play and they (Chiefs management) haven’t said anything to me about not wanting me. I have no doubt that by March of this year I’ll be able to do everything that every other player on the Chiefs team will be able to do.”
Mike Maslowski, Chiefs injured linebacker, 810 AM
GH: Scary thought that Maz knows he can take his wounded knee to camp and run with the stiffs that make up the Chiefs defense.

•“This (Chiefs) team, with its 23 coaches on the sideline, does the worst job of game management that I’ve ever seen. Most NFL coaching staffs are 15 or 16. Last year it was never addressed because they were 13-3. It amazes me that these things continue to go on with the Chiefs and they have not been corrected.”
Bill Maas, 810 AM
GH: The Eagles appeared to be using their former head coach’s game-management playbook in Jacksonville.

•“I’m still not sure Jared Allen can play.”
Dave Stewart, despite the Chiefs rookie defensive end recording 10 sacks this season, 810 AM
GH: Here’s a scary thought: what if even our promising young defensive players aren’t any good?

•“Kevin (Kietzman) and many other members of the local media hate the Chiefs. I don’t get it. I just want to know what I’m missing. Dave Stewart and I are the only two members of the media who are paying customers of the Chiefs. There is not the passion and venom thrown (by the media) toward the Royals that is thrown toward the Chiefs. Somebody here at the station told me I needed to get off (the Chiefs) bandwagon.”
Soren Petro, 810 AM
GH: I have no problem with Petro riding atop the Chiefs bandwagon. I’d just like to see him dismount King Carl’s scepter.

•“None. I don’t like college football.”
Bob Fescoe, when asked how many bowl games he watched over the New Year break, 810 AM
GH: Spoken like a kid from New Jersey who was educated at KU.

•“Before you dive headfirst into those Super Bowl office pools, just remember one tiny little detail. They’re still illegal. So is betting $20 with your best friend.”
Jeffrey Flanagan, Kansas City Star
GH: Can’t wait for March when Jeffrey gets to once again waste half of his column telling us that it is also illegal to bet on our NCAA brackets.

•“I was comfortable in Kansas City. Maybe I needed less comfort. Maybe I needed the pressure to get a little more out of myself.”
Carlos Beltran, ESPN Magazine
GH: When Mike Sweeney called out David Glass on Metro Sports last November and again in The Star recently, comfortable Kansas City gasped. “How dare the often-injured Sweeney demand that Glass field a competitive team!” screamed the likes of Kevin Kietzman and others who enjoy the Cowtown comfort zone. Beltran is right and so is Sweeney. Glass needs to get off his ass and make our baseball team competitive. Every day that passes that we fans allow him to feel comfortable about the dismal future of our franchise is another day wasted in Comfortville.

•“The time has come, once again, for me to tell you why the Royals are absolutely and positively going to win the American League Central division.”
Joe Posnanski, Kansas City Star
GH: The time has come for JoPo to dump his annual Royals-will-be-great column. It would serve his readership more if he lit an annual fire under Glass each February that demanded excellence. I’m just guessing that Glass wouldn’t keep one of those Wal-Mart greeters around year after year if they pooped their pants each summer.

•“I love Russell Robinson. I think he’s a big-time player.”
Mark Turgeon, head basketball coach at Wichita State, on KU’s freshman guard, 610 AM
GH: In three short months, Robinson went from being the next Paul Pierce to becoming the next Jelani Janisse. What happened to this New York wunderkind?

•“You could put Aaron Miles on any team in the country and he would start and be their leader. I just think he is outstanding.”
Jay Bilas, an ESPN NCAA basketball analyst, on the KU senior point guard, 810 AM
GH: Before Miles and KU fans start feeling too good about Bilas’ comments, read on.

•“Quin’s a really good coach and he’s proven that.”
Jay Bilas, 810 AM

•“It’s the dumbest decision made by a Missouri athlete besides Ricky Clemons.”
Mike DeArmond, on the decision by MU’s junior defensive tackle C.J. Mosley to forego his senior year for this spring’s NFL draft, 610 AM
GH: I noticed that DeArmond said the dumbest decision by a “Missouri athlete” and not the dumbest decision by a “Missouri athletic director.”

•“Entercom and (Johnny) Dare himself were unavailable for comments.”
Noel Heckerson, Entercom news reporter, reporting the $220,000 fine levied on Entercom due to “apparently indecent” content on Dare’s radio show, 980 AM
GH: I can’t think of a more appropriate quote to end my OTC column. Here’s Heckerson, broadcasting only a few feet away from Dare’s studio and surrounded by Entercom suits inside their Westwood offices. But in his best news-guy voice, he expects his listeners to believe he can’t reach Dare or his own boss for a comment. As Russ Johnson likes to say, “The media is a cesspool of misinformation.” It has been a pleasure swimming that murky course alongside you. Please be sure to hold onto your paddle.

(Greg Hall can be reached via email at greghall24@yahoo.com)

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Whitlock wants to come back to 810

Chad Boeger has Pork Chop for lunch

Posted 2/9/05

Letters from Off the Couch readers:

I met Bill Maas recently in Florida and I asked him about what happened between him and Whitlock. He shook his head and walked away. I then said, “No really, what happened?” No answer. He just kept shaking his head. What’s the story?
Bill
GH: Insiders are aware that Maas has refused to be in the studio with Whitlock for months. What very few people are aware of though, is that Whitlock is attempting to move his show BACK to 810. He took Chad Boeger to dinner recently and asked if Chad would take him back. You gotta love the radio biz.

I don’t know how you managed to find 100 local sports boobs. As far as Karen Kornacki goes, I think the lyrics from Elvis Costello’s song Brilliant Mistake sum up her talent: “She said that she was working for the ABC News It was as much of the alphabet as she knew how to use.” And is there any more evidence needed to support the theory that Jack Harry and Yosemite Sam are in fact the same cartoon character?
Dave

How did Max Falkenstien make it at number 95? Anyone who is over the age of 100 should not be in the top 100. I’m a huge Mizzou fan and I couldn’t agree with you more on Gary Link and John Kadlec. I think Mike Kelly is by far the best play-by-play guy for any team in the area. I’ve always wondered how MU had the balls to pair the best play-by-play voice next to piles of dog doo in basketball and football. Not just normal dog poop, but old dried up and stale dog doo.
Danny

I wish Jason King could have been lower. It’s okay to be an advocate for your team, but come on! Why can he refer to the loss at Villanova as a “meaningless non-conference game” and at the same time coo on about that January 1 game when the Hawks, without Simien, rallied to win a game they were favored in in the first place? This sort of homerism gets old. And Kadlec and Falkenstein really are terrible. You nailed that one.
Mark

I was appalled that you both included Rufus Dawes and listed him as high as 100. When you strip away the erudite sounding prose that Rufus dribbles on a page, he doesn’t really say anything much at all. There are probably a hundred kids out there in Junior High School who can bring as much to the table at Rufus Dawes and I guarantee you that they will stick their name at the top of the essay and be willing to receive a grade for their work. Placing Rufus Dawes on your list even at 100 is an insult to the other 99 afore mentioned persons on your list.
Bill

I would say in regards to Len Dawson I do enjoy his work on Chiefs radio more than I do his work as a sportscaster. I also would like to see the top “foot in mouth” list. I could see Tim Grunhard at the top of that one.
Jeff

I actually like JoPo—his columns are the equivalent of watching a Ben Stiller movie where you just enjoy the product and not have to think hard about it. I’d rather chew on my hair than listen to anything Falkenstein says. Holthus PBP has declined in recent years—he doesn’t describe the action like he did in Manhattan. You and I can disagree on Bob Davis—terrific enthusiasm but I never know where the ball is at when he’s doing radio which is a cardinal sin in my book. Wyatt needs to exit the flint hills immediately—he’s just awful. Give me Greg Sharpe or Bruce Steinbrock any time.
CK

Your list of 100 is just about the most original, thought-provoking and damned funny things I’ve ever read. I would agree with many of your listings and disagree with some, but such is the nature of exhaustively researched opinion pieces. Rest assured your have stirred up mucho conversation among the professionals whose work you so entertainingly chronicle.
Ralph

I’m not writing to agree, disagree or otherwise comment on the selections of your SOFA 100 list (although maybe I should thank you for pointing out the saccharine banality of JoPo; I know Mike Fannin loves the guy because he’ll churn out a couple of hundred inches every week, but that doesn’t make it interesting). My take is much more pithy: that I couldn’t stand to do what you do. I’ve been a sports broadcaster or writer for some 30 years, and I’m glad I don’t even know who some of these people are - much less have to listen to, watch or read them routinely. My limited doses of Link/Kadlec pap on Mizzou broadcasts, or KK’s diatribes a couple of hours a week, or the occasional Pork Chopping, is about all I can stand. Thank goodness I gave up on watching the nightly TV sports reports when the Internet emerged - although I can’t say I’ve completely escaped being Dawsonized or Kornackied while waiting for “Seinfeld” to come on at 10:35. Bravo and salute to your endurance.
Chris

Brutal, very brutal. I’m sure most of it is true. I don’t have much contact with those folks. I guess I’m thankful no one does such a ranking of us on the news side. But we probably could use it. I think a town our side needs some kind of an independent media critic to comment on our foibles. The alternative press does it in other markets, but the Pitch just bitches, mostly, and doesn’t give much thought to it.
Jane

Just wrapped up your top 100. Funny how I do not even know about 20% of the people of the list and I thought I follow sports in KC with the best of them.
Kevin

Don’t forget John Kadlec was the SID and color man for Kansas State in the late 70’s, early 80’s. Paired with Steve Physioc (now the voice of the PAC 10 I think) he uttered many unforgettable restatements of the obvious.
Tom

I couldn’t agree more about Bob Gretz. You’ve been around KC long enough to remember when he started as a writer at the Star. He was the first member of the media to openly and aggressively criticize Steadman and Schaff, and as far as I was concerned that expedited the eventual change to the Peterson era. I remember at the time how impressed I was with what he did and felt that the tide had turned on how the local media dealt with our sports teams. Well, the tide has turned somewhat. Gretz was an important figure in moving the paper from the gentle butt-kissing Joe McGuff era to what we have today. Unfortunately he has turned from “promising writer” to “Carl’s butt-boy.” What a waste. One final comment: I love Kevin Harlan, but listening to him and KK on the drive home makes me want to take a shower. The last time I felt that dirty is when I spent my spring break at Mardi Gras and as a joke some friends took me to a female impersonator strip bar. Has anyone caught these two together with their pants down in Leawood? YUK!!!
Dennis

I agree completely with your selection of #100. As a life-long Chiefs fan, the arrogance and cowardly inclusion of Dawes on the Chiefs website has got me closer to my breaking point with the Chiefs than I have ever been. 
Chris

I just read your comments about the editors at the Star and I couldn’t agree more. As a journalist myself, I have met my fair share of arrogant editors, most are good writers and nice guys, however, they always have this character flaw of looking down upon those who don’t know when to put a hyphen in a sentence. The strangest thing that I have noticed about newspaper and magazine editors is that if you took them out of the newspaper medium and told them to write anything that wasn’t a newspaper story, most couldn’t do it. They’re editors because they know how to spell, big whoop! But like you said, if you ask any editor why any paper is readable, 99.9 percent of them would say, “us.”
PD

Please tell me you were fortunate enough to hear the KK “woe is me/us” monologue today. I have not listened to him much of late, but today was classic. I don’t know how his listeners buy into his lines, but obviously someone does.
Tom
GH: During my 2.5 hour snowy commute home Tuesday I heard a preacher call KK and tell him how both he and another man of the cloth who met him at a remote were impressed with how “real” and genuine he appeared to be. Amazingly, some people still buy his shtick.

You’re right on with including Sam Mellinger on your top media list, although personally I thought he would’ve ranked higher than No. 53. I occasionally find myself reading his stories for no other reason than because he’s the one who wrote it, and then find myself captivated by the story. He does such an excellent job finding the story behind the story in Kansas City area high school sports, and he’s one of the up-and-coming gems in our local media community.
Chris

Do you think the new ratings will make 810 realize that Bob Fescoe is an automatic channel changer? That is if you happen to hit it during the 12 minutes an hour that isn’t a commercial.
Brian
GH: The new ratings have WHB’s attention but they’re not too worried about losing ground to 610. Football season is over and they have the spring excitement of the Royals to ride for the next two Arbitron books. WHB is high on their future. They will soon be announcing plans to open a new sports restaurant called The 810 Zone in the old Fenton’s Restaurant on 119th and Nall. Look for the place to be jammed with high-tech gizmos and features in every booth, with lots of cool electronic stuff for the kids

(Greg Hall can be reached via email at greghall24@yahoo.com)

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Whitlock, Dawson help round out bottom 25

Who gets the much-anticipated honor of No. 100?

Posted 2/3/05

The final 25 members of my SOFA 100 are all “undraftable” selections as far as my fantasy media team is concerned. I would pass on choosing any of these media types. As I’ve stated, my list is opinion based. The bottom 25 of my list exemplifies this fact. Two of the highest-paid members of the KC sports media, Len Dawson and Jason Whitlock, reside on this list. It is obvious that their employers think very highly of their work and pay them accordingly. Everyone has a differing opinion on what they like and don’t like in their writers and broadcasters. It’s this myriad of opinions that makes each day an interesting one.

76. Neal Jones, program manger at 61 Sports/sports anchor Channel 5/MS
Jones is an ass kisser and I’m not real partial to ass kissers. When I was at 1510, Jones was often seen there, preening about the studio looking for love. Jason Whitlock could not have been more abusive or degrading to the guy. Now we find Jones puckering up to Pork Chop at 610, where Whitlock had the program director, Mat Fishman, fired to make way for the easier-to-control Jones. Whitlock has always needed a boss who would kick his ass, not slobber over it. Jones is a decent reporter but his future is murky at best, as he has aligned his professional success or failure with Whitlock. Name the last radio partnership that JW experienced at KY, 1510, 810 or 610 that ended well?

77. Jason King, KU beat writer for The Star
King has had the KU beat now for over five years and I’m still waiting to be impressed. And it’s not like Roy Williams, Al Bohl, Mark Mangino and Bill Self haven’t supplied him with plenty of subject matter to shine. King writes as if he is a fan of the Jayhawks, which I have no problem with. Beat writers should have an interest in the teams they cover. But they also need to have an edge to their writing that draws the reader to want to crack open their story. King’s writing is as edgeless as Mangino’s waistline.

78. Leif Lisec, sports anchor for Metro Sports/Channel 5
Talk about a guy without an edge. Lisec is one of the nicer people in the media but also one of the more forgettable. Every nerd craving a TV gig should investigate how Lisec scored a job in a market the size of Kansas City. Lisec is a guy with Garden City talent in an NFL town. We’ve got more than our share of nice people in the local media. What we need more of are people with talent.

79. Rhonda Moss, reporter for 61 Sports
Moss actually stirred up some controversy last year with her penchant for asking an occasional tough question or two during her locker room interviews. Her give and take with Eric Hicks last fall over whether the Chiefs should have brought in more defensive help was great stuff — but she wimped out by apologizing to the big guy…for doing her job. Moss doesn’t appear to be polished or informed. Her attack-dog reputation can be entertaining at times but without some substance behind it she looks and sounds foolish.

80. Kevin Kaduk, sportswriter for The Star
This is the guy The Star had been asking readers to invite him into their homes to participate in their Chiefs’ game-day watchfests. The idea wasn’t awful but Kaduk’s execution of it was just that – murderous. As the season wore on, Kaduk’s columns deteriorated into writing one about how no one would let him into their house and another one going home for Thanksgiving and watching the Chiefs with his out-of-town family – of which none are Chiefs fans. I like his goofy name and his desire to be off-the-wall but he needs to be more entertaining and interesting. Goofy doesn’t sell real well when served ala cart.

81. Danyelle Sargent, formerly of Metro Sports
The attractive Sargent nailed down a gig with ESPN last year after spending time at MS as a reporter, anchor and host. She wasn’t pretty enough for my taste to cover up her flaws as a broadcaster. Lucky for her talent isn’t real high on ESPN’s must-have list when they’re hiring talking heads…and torsos. I find it rather remarkable that with the stable of young talent MS has put together, one of their least talented but most attractive employees gets the national gig. Kind of reminds me of how politics works.

82. Kendall Gammon, co-host on WHB
Gammon has been trying to catch on as a broadcaster for a number of years but he has yet to display any talent for the role. I’ve sampled his work as an analyst on Metro Sports and as a co-host on his weekly show on 810. He strikes me as an overachiever in the NFL who thinks he can possibly pull the same magic with a post-football radio career. He gets paid the NFL minimum each season because he has an amazing ability to deep snap a football to a placeholder or punter with incredible accuracy and speed. He’s been able to ride that singular talent into a very lucrative pro career. Despite his likable Joe-Lunchbucket demeanor, he has no one talent to lean on when it comes to broadcasting.

83. Doug Elstun, UMKC color analyst for men’s basketball
Elstun always appears pissed off whenever I’ve watched him work at a UMKC game. I guess if we all were as void of talent as he, we too might be mired in a never-ending frump. I don’t understand why minor universities like UMKC put up with minor league radio talent like Elstun. There are talented color analysts doing high school broadcasts and coming out of J-schools every year. Why not elevate the experience of each Roos’ broadcasts far beyond the dour-sounding Elstun?

84. Jack Harry, sports anchor at Channel 41/38 The Spot, Chiefs postgame on 810
What has happened to Jack Harry? This veteran of local sports television has jumped into